1. Bad hangover? Try honey on crackers. The fructose in the honey flushes alcohol out of your system.
2. If your roommates’ cell phone alarm is going off and they are not in the room, call the phone and it will disable the alarm.
3. Don’t delay acting on a good idea. Chances are some else has thought of it too. Success comes to the one who acts first.
4. Class is knowing what to say, when to say it, and when to stop.
5. GymPact is an app that will pay you for working out and punishes you for missing days.
6. In a social situation and don’t know anyone? Keep in mind that it’s better to be interested in other people than to try and be interesting.
7. On March 9th you can get a free glazed donut from Krispy Kreme
sweet dreams are made of bees
who am i to squish a queen?
i sat on the hive and got seven stings
everybody’s trying to help me
it’s amazing how only a few words can make your day instantly better
Straight white male for “we will sext for 25 minutes, you’ll receive an unsolicited picture of my dick and then I’ll KIK you a hello five days in a row, regardless if you answer or not.”
Nope. Don’t have KIK.
- DO NOT SPEAK TO ME IN A CONDESCENDING WAY
- DO NOT SPEAK TO ME LIKE I’M AN IDIOT
- DO NOT SPEAK TO ME AS IF I’M STUPID BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT SOMETHING THAT YOU KNEW ABOUT OR BECAUSE I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING THAT’S SIMPLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND
- JUST DON’T DO IT
It cracks me up when the actors on a show are also the producers because I always picture them casting themselves like
"Who’ll play the main character? Ah yes. Me."
u can’t beat the monuments men
umm excuse u
don’t mess with the Polar Express
make way for A Christmas Carol
kurt being an excited puppy (requested by anonymous)
I’ve been dreaming of making this video for ages, and now it is finally a reality… Enjoy!
just in case you missed it yesterday…
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL
a character i like: aw cutie
a lady character i really like: beautiful princess baby child of my heart
a dude character i really like: fuckin nerdlord
I made this a while ago and I don’t know when I’d ever use it so I’m just gonna post it whatever man
when people start getting close to your friends